“Aunty” business

In 2017, I was driving Anaka somewhere when a woman rammed her scooter on my car. 

A huge crowd gathered and started berating me. I was shocked. But in India, the accused is decided solely on the ‘vehicle level’. 

Bourgeois Calculation.

If a scooter & cycle collide, scooter is at fault. If a Mercedes and a Maruti collide, it is the fault of the higher end vehicle. 

Using this calculation, I was found to be completely in the wrong. And it did not help that I was in Jeans - T-shirt while the perpetrator looked docile in her churidhar.

All the menfolk had a field day and the ‘paavam’ teacher HAD to be checked up in the hospital.

She was placed in my back seat and while transporting her to get her no-scratch knee dressed; she called her husband.

“ചേട്ടാ, accident aayi.” (And she caught that escaping sob.)

“ഇല്ലാ, ചേട്ടൻ വിഷമ്മിക്കണ്ടാ… കുഴപ്പമൊന്നുമില്ലാ…”

(And I was thinking, why the hell did you call him then??)

“Aunty എന്നേ hospital കൊണ്ടൂപൊകുവാ.”

What did she call me??

I stamped the brake. 

Anaka seated beside me was also shocked and she told, “Amma, leave it. Just take her to the hospital.”

What the hell? I have to take her to the hospital for no fault of mine and now hear this 30 year old call me aunty?

A very romantic scene was unfolding in my back seat. Volumes were getting reduced. The ഉം, ഇല്ല, കരയില്ല, വരണ്ടാ, കുഴപ്പമൊന്നുമില്ലാ etc started gyrating my nerves. 100% newly married.

At the hospital I wasted ₹350 to get her checked up. 

Her husband came rushing and the love story unfolding between the two left me in no doubt that she would soon need maternity leave.

Anaka still laughs saying that the men shouting obscenities at me on the road and threatening police actions against me, did not tick me off as much as that ’newly married oldie’ calling me Aunty. 

Truth.

Another instance.

I got married very young and became a mother soon after. So, women who get married later in life, just decide that I belong to the previous generation… as they have “school going” kids while mine are in college. 

I asked one such audacious mother her age. She squirmed, but I am relentless and persistent. I made sure she never addressed me ‘aunty’ after that.

Don’t get me wrong. I am an Indian & love respect. In fact, I found it very weird when some college going expats asked me if they can call me by my name. No.

Just find the suitable suffix & stick with it.

And I have noticed this is a problem faced by many Indian women.

Call us vain. Anyway, I accept I am vain.

And it seems to be mostly a woman against woman problem. 

Therefore, I propose a thumb rule to follow while addressing us - the Indian woman.

If the age difference is 18 or lesser, do not call the elder one Aunty.

Imagine you are in school, say in LKG, would you call the super seniors (class 12 students) Aunty? No, right? दीदी, ചേച്ചി, would be added after the name.

Follow this and let us reduce stress.

Our lives are anyway stressed.